|
Nov 2006 I stumbed upon an book about talking to the dead called "Never say goodbye by patrick mathews an amazing
book to teach you and tell of how he got to become a medium how him and his sister did but the most amazing chapter dealt
with learning how to do it yourself at last i felt vindicated all the strange things happening in our home were just terrans
attempts to tell us he was here in this house and not to be scared that he is with us and AI DONT HAVE TO SAY GOODBYE BECAUSE
TERRAN WAS RIGHT HERE NEXT TO ME EVEN IN DEATH HE WAS HERE
Since terrans death i have become obsessed with finding him talking to him i had many many qequestions like "did he hurt"
was he scared was so many questions terran died so suddenly so violently it shocked me to my soul i grieved so hard for
terran I missed mybaby each day i go to the book store i scour books on the afterlife trying to find ways to commuicate with
him so many strange things since he died lights coming on smells toys moving themselfs so much each time i read
a book i woudl take the time to go to the website if possible to learn more each time i attempted to email the authors
like George Anderson or slyvia browne no response not so when i sat down and emailed patrick mathews thanking him for writing
such a wondeful book i did nott tell hm much except i had lost a child and thanking him for the chapter on learning to reconize
signs of commication a short time later i got an email from his sister kathy saying how much it meant to them me taking
the time to write how sweet I thought to take the time to write later i got anohter email from her saying patrick was
scheduling appoinment for april and would i like one i went to his web site to find the price no way i coudl afford it so
i emailed her back thanking her for the offer but that people like me dont get such a rare privedlege and that i could not
afford it but thank you anyway She emailed me back saying patrick was so taken by my email that he wanted to offer me
a free reading and woudl I like one i instantly said yes and confirmed wiht her for April 4th 2007 in my heart i never
thougth i woudl be here for this day but now i am so grateful this day has come and some of these more famous mediums are
not just in it for the money patrick showed me this today below conversation wiht my friend kim after the session today
at 10 am i am amazed how accurate he was so many amazing things were said and terran my darling child came through like
alway s wiht amazing maturity even admoishing me for some tings
April 2
I was so nervous about teh upcoming appointment although it was by phone was scared that this was a hoax i knew
because of a couple of psychics had visited our home a few weeks ago although they confirmed that terran is indeed
in our home i still wondered was this all true can there really be an after life and can i see my beloved son one day in my
heart i hoped with my might that day would be very soon. Its funny in the few days before the appoinment i did
write to terran s website but i guess if orgot to publish them because today i noticed that they were not here.
April 3 i was nervous i could not sit still i tried to paint but few pictures turned out so last night i cleaned
my room and I mean cleaned 4 huge bags of trash and many hours of exhusting work at last i feel asleep about 2 am dreams of
what might happen filled my head as i woke early again and awaited the appointed hour of 10 am
April 4 10 am first time i called i got a busy signal the next time at 10:01 am a voice filled the phone such a wonderful
calming voice too as he said "hello kim I am patrick and how are you today"
Patrick asked me "have i ever did a reading for you i said no he went on to explain what may happen how he may be silent
a short time while he asked the otehrs questions and asked me "who do you want to speak to today" i said of course "my son"
He said a young man was here and that the first thing he was putting out was eyes he did not understand why eyes
he said maybe terran had striking eyes (he did not use terrans name btw) I said maybe b(then later one i rememberd out of
all 5 children all blonde haired blue eyed children and all 13 mind you blonde haired blue eyed chidlren terran was
the only child with hazel eyes and light brown hair ok his natural hair color I mean we all know how terran loved to have
bright red or green hair later on Pretty amazing start i knew instantly it was terran so few know this subtle differnce
in the children and grandchildren only terran favored my my husband who has hazel eyes and light brown hair
Next he asked me do i have pictures of him and did i freqently look at them and cry i said yes he said "he wants you
to know he sees you and hears your thoughts and he said "this is a very determined young man he wants you to me to tell you
this that he hears you an dhe sees you he is inside you and beside you
Next patrick speaks to terran he says "what are you showing me tell me please tell me then he says "he wants you to know
he did not feel anything when he passed I asked him to show me to let me feel it and he said "Patrick i did not feel anything"
at this point huge tears began to flow from my eyes such a huge relief to think even for a second terran did not feel pain
at his death but the next thing really made me cry he said "he also wants you to know "he was not scared" Next patrick
asked me "was he in a coma or something i explained he died very suddenly he said "well he wants you to know he did not feel
any pain and was not scared" and also he wants you not to think about what happened anymore because everything
that happened was supposed to happen for a reason I just dont know tHe reason patrick went to explain that terran has a heightned
sense since he is on the ohter side he knows the reason for it but cant tell me just that he is wise beyound his tendar years. and
for me to have no regrets not to think about it ever again (what alot of people dont know is that i question my decision
to let miami transplant terran when they had so many problems but that i was so scared that if i did not let them i woudl
lose terran and he would lose the chance to be well i never wanted to cause my son to ever suffer a second because i of my
non medical judgements this was terrans way i think of telling me that for reasons unknown to me that everyting happneed that
was supposed to happen and not to feel guilty that i was the one who decided to let miami retransplant terran instead of pittsburg
where terran was also listed )
Next Patrick Said "he's showing me the Number 8 which Patrick did not understand he said do you understand
this I said yes terran was born in august the 8th month
Next he said tell mom "she's still my mom " that others care for him right now but I am still his mom and that he
is here and that its HIM THAT IS CAUSING THE RINGING Patrick did not understand that and almost did not tell me but he said
"terran said to tell you its him causing the ringing (what alot of people know is that since terrans death i have had a constant
ringing in my ears sometimes its very loud so loud it drowns out everyting else personly i thoguht i twas terran trying to
talk to me but being on the ohter side he is at a higher vibration than i (i learned this from one of the many book si have
read on the subject) patrick confirmed via terran that yes its terran and one day i will hear him if i only keep listening
terran is trying to communicate with me Patrick said that was very unusual for some one so young he was impressed at
how grown up terran seemed he also said he said terran was very determined and controlled the session which he said was unusual
for someone so young he could tell he was young because he kept jumping around and used child like examples
Next patrick said "he wants you to know how proud of you he is he knows how hard its been on your since he died and he
wants you to know how proud he is of the example you have set for ohters he is especially proud of the fact that he can help
take care of you now since he is on the ohter side next he asked "does he have a sister" siasaid yes a few of them he said
"he says tell sister i said hi and that he is with her too" how sweet i thought even now he is thinking of his family
and how proud of was of my son at this point that he is watching over us and is our familys guardian angel
Next he said "he wants you to know that he is most proud of the fact you never talk about him in the past tense " again
the tears began to flow as few know of my and my families obsession not to talk of terran in the past we still include him
in ever event even if its going out to dinner a place is set for terran with a plate full of his favorite foods next patrick
said " he says to tell you that he gets the food you set him but now its always pipping hot" amazing i thought then
patrick said "of course you know the food is not going to dissapear" little did patrick now of the famous chicken nuggets
that to this day i place on terrans gravesite ever so often and that almost alway the box and all are gone the next day
the pipping hot food i explained to patrick was when terran was alive he has such a hard time eating food that sometimes
it woudl take hours for him to finish a plate after having to reheat it for him patrick said well now he has all he wants
and its all pipping hot and he can eat all he wants and i guess he does
Next patrick said terran wants me to be very stern and wants me to say it exactly first he asked did you have him
buried or creamated i said buried he asked do you vist often i said yes sometimes for hours he said "well that explains what
i have to tell you next "he said to tell you HES NOT THERE THAT HE HATES GOING TO THE CEMETARY THAT HE WILL GO WITH ME BUTWALKS
AWAY WHEN I SIT BY HIIM AND HE SAID HE WAS VERY DETERMINED TO MAKE ME UNDERSTAND THAT HE IS WITH ME ALWAYS EVER MOMENT OF
THE DAY AND NIGHT AND WHEN I GO THERE HE SITS IN TEH CAR AND WAITS FOR ME HE WIL GO WIHT ME BUT DOES NOT LIKE IT
AGAIN patrick states he wants you to know how proud of you he is and how proud of how well your doing since he died and
knows how hard its been on you few give you credit he says to patrick at how much he and I went through in his life no one
will know really how much we went through he says to patrick and no one gives her credit but I do he says i give her credit
for all she does and now can take care of her like she did me.
Terran said to patick tell her not to cry anymore at things i want for him that all i have to do is think of something
or dream of something and its his that all he wants desires are his all at a mear thought i cried as the ohter day cephas
and i were at the mall and i started crying at the new power rangers clothes and dishes and stuff that i knew terran would
have liooved i guess this is terrans way of saying "hey mom its ok all you got ot do is think it and its mine"
zNer
znrcy
Next he tells patrick "i have been seen" you have patrick says then he says to me he says to tell you that he's
been seen next he says do you know a nancy? i said no noth that i know of i know no one byt the name of nancy he says well
he says to tell yo the name nancy let me ask him again oh you tricked me he says to terran then explains to me that
he usualy never tells anyone the name of that persons soul guide he said my son i s very sneak and tricked him i laughed
at the thought of terran beign typical terran
next patrick asks "is there a birthday coming up i said yes his brother cephas he said he is very excited to share in
the celebrations that he loves parties and will be there and again tells patrick to tell me mom i am not at the cemetary you
do no thave to go there to see me he wants to have fun and celebrate (this is sticky for me as we have not celebrated any
holidays since terrans death not xmas or birthdays as it hurt s me and makes me feeel guilty to be havin gfun when my son
is not at least thats how i felt now i am not so sure
Next i over hear patrick saying to terran "did you give it to her" show it to me" then he asks me do you have a
bracelet with terrans picture on it" i said yes he said "he says to tell you its from him i was amazed see i got a picture
heart made of terran and I shortly after he died so i would look at his face all the time i was afraid of forgetting what
he looked like stupid i know but the heart was supposed to be a necklace but it was to heavey for my neck i kept buying chains
to keep it on my wrist and would hold it in my hand everywhere so my hand would not be empty since it used to be full of terrans
hand but the bracelets were breaking all the time and i would lose my presious heart pendant also a dear person sent me a
locket which i placed terran picture and a lock of his hair i was terrified of losing pictures or god forbid that locket with
his lock of hair it was like a part of him i took everwhere then one day i was sad and i got the feeling terran wanted
to take a walk so i went to the flea market tehre i found a pretty bracelet it was like terran led me to that bracelet and
now patrick a was telling me i was right and ever since i placed the heart and locket on the bracelet they have not fallen
off since pretty amazing
Then patrick says "he wants you to know he is your guardian angel that he sees everyting you do goes everwhere you do
and is with you all the time " he wants you to know that you will see him again someday but not for a while yet so dont
do anything to rush it he says and he's very determined about this point that he does not want you to ever think again that
you will not see him again " he wants you to know in the future maybe next week maybe tomorrow that you will see him
in a light not like he will turn on the light or such but maybe you will wake up and see him in a beam of light" so
dont think you will never see him again remember that he wants you to really listen to this that he is wiht you and you will
see him again"
then patrick says "he's being very serious now "he says he knows of all you done for him since he died and he
is so happy with everything but to know he says the others are crazy not you do you understand that he says to me" i
sure do he says again "he is the ringing in my ears, he is wiht me always dont rush to be wiht him he says he's not going
anywhere he's still my son and is so proud of me "then patrick goes silent as he listens to terran talk to him i over
hear him say "really thats sweet" then tells me "he is showing me him patting you on the back saying no one
ever not even she gives her self a pat on the back and she deserves it so i am giving her a pat on the back
then patrick asks me "do you have pets" i said yes we have a dog then he again asks terran something "pauses
and says "he says to tell you its him making the dog bark can you understand that? i said wiht a chuckle i sure can
he tortures that poor dog sometimes late at night makeing her go nuts" well patrick says he wants you to know its him
but he says he likes messing with her" thats so terran so true of my baby see this dog is scared of her shadow i tell
patrick that it seems on my sadder days when its late at night and i am pretty sad for what ever reason our dog betty lou
who never barks even at strangers (matter fact if our home ever got broke in to i bet betty would beg the burgler for a belly
rub in stead of protecting us ) but ever so often this dang dog late at night will begin barking at the wind, the wall going
nuts till i tell her its ok its only terran and then speak directly to terran and say" baby lets go to bed and leave
that poor dog alone" it always works and i am instantly lifted out of the dark place that scares me and seems maybe
it scares terran too becasue he sure does know how to get me out of it
finally patrick says "he wants you to know that he is not going anywhere he goes quiet for a few seconds he says "ok
he's taking notes too? i laugh at this and i tell him its funny because in life terran had the hardest time learning to read
and write so its poetic that he's taking notes so funny at least i though so at the time how wrong i would be but would not
find out so until after i hung up with patrick just what terran meant by the notebook and writing in it. patrick continued
"he wants you to know ytou are not keeping him from moving on he's happy and most important He's healthy he wants you
to know he his happy and has no desire to move on that its ok to celebrate etc that he is always wiht you and wiht that terran
began to leave I told patrick thank you for all he had done for me this day that what he did not know was how strong the desire
in my heart to be with terran and how now maybe i can live a little easier thank to all terran had told me then patrick said
"remember he is your heaven that heaven is all around us and terran is with us helping us guilding us that he is so blessed
by doing so to not deny him the blesssings he recieves becuase of this. with that we said goodbye
I have done my best using notes to give an accurate accounting of the session i hope i did justice to what a honor patrick
mathews bestowed on me after all he did this out of the kindness of his heart for that i can never thank him enough i pray
someday i can hear terran like he does till then i have the memory of today
the cemtary is a very sticky point for me as i spend alof of time there i fix his headstone make sure he has frehs flowers
his favorite toys are there his power ranger uniform lies in a special box with all his presious objects i sit there for hours
reading to terran or watching videos sometimes we go there and eat lunch with terran its our place of peace while not every
one in our family feels the same way at least those who dont understand those who do so i understand why terran put such emphases
on this subject of going there since terran died i sometimes get feelings like a force that drives me to go here or there
and I will say ok ok terran lets go or things get in my way that forces me to miss days going to the cemetary some want to
know how i feel since all that patrick told me well to be honest its hard to put in to words all i am feeling while its wonderful
to know my son is near me its wonderful to know he is here wiht us enjoying things that he did not feel pain when he died
and was not scared at the same time i long to hold his hand long to feel his breath on my cheek or the warmth of his body
next to mine as we woudl snuggle and watch videos so on the one hand this day is a very healing day for me gone is that nagging
guilt i feel if i go one day with out going to "see terran as we call it" now at least i can feel better and while myself
i think it will take some time for me to be able to celebrate birthdays and such at least i know that while i might not be
there i know now terran will and will be messing with the ohters like alway safter all seems even in the after life my boy
is a monster at times which makes me feel so good maybe someday i will be able to laugh easily again someday i will be able
to understand and be happy he is free and healthy and seeing and enjoying life with us still but for now i try and thats the
best i can do thanks for reading this web page i know some will find it hard to swollow but like harry houdi said "who knows
" he searched for the after life i wonder what its like for him over there i hope he has a mommie like terran does
once off the phone with patrick i went outside to bring in the trash cans that had picked up teh garbage we left the night
before when i was shocked to my knees there on the ground was terrans lost notebook from his wish trip yesterday I cleaned
my room and I mean cleaned
4 huge bags of trash i thought back to when Patrick said "what your writing notes like mom I thought oh that's sweet Patrick
he could not write in life now he can but that was not it see when Sasha got here after I got off phone I went to put the
trash cans away as they picked it up last night
and there on the ground was TERRANS NOTEBOOK it HAD BEEN THROWN AWAY ACCIDENTLY BUT TERRAN SAVED IT IT WAS LAYING ON THE
GROUND I ALMOST DIED THATS THE NOTEBOOK HE WAS TALKING ABOUT THE ONE WIHT HIS RANGERS AUTOGRAPHS THAT WAS LOST SINCE HIS WISH
TRIP
Kimrobinstein1: and the notebook that just happened today I just cleaned my room last night and accidentally threw it away
Kimrobinstein1: when terran said it we both got it wrong till I got off phone and found the notebook that was very important
to terran it had his power rangers phone numbers autographs etc its been lost since his wish trip it was laying on the ground
like someone had picked it out of the trash now get this I put my trash in walmart bags and tie them shut no way it could
have fallen some one had to take the bag open it and pull it because if I had seen it on the top when I closed the bags by
tying them closed I would have taken it out so how did it get there
only terran knows Edit Text
Dear terran
i took your hand you took my heart you were my fate i had been living in an lonely shell now to feel you heart beating,
to feel you next to me
in heaven love is everywhere there is no pain there are no tears in heaven love lasts forever it does not dissapear so
if you can reach out to me and the thought of you will carry me to where i need to be i hear you and want to be with you
now thanks to a caring loving person in patrick and ocean size lovethat he has shown to me he cared and reached
out to me and i came and picked up what i have been longing for now i can see that love never ends
like you and me terran love never ends MOmmie loves you terran Mommie loves you forever and ever
|
